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My Joke Collection!! Most of these jokes are ones I've heard from friends or made up myself. As far as possible, I've avoided jokes obtained from the net, or atleast the more famous ones. So most of this stuff is NEW - enjoy.

Warning: My friends and I have this warped up sense of humour, so take it easy, and don't complain. These jokes are safe - no adult content whatsoever & no risk of dying laughing.

Despite that craving desire to copy-&-paste these jokes into your site or your mailing list, I urge you NOT to - Your friends will desert you.


Ant & Elephant jokes

How do you put four elephants in a car?
Two in the front, two in the back.

How do you put four monkeys in a car?
You can't - It's already filled with elephants.

An ant and an elephant went swimming. But instead of swimming together, they took turns getting into the pool. Both were never in the pool at the same time. Why?
They had only one pair of shorts.

One fine morning, an ant goes off to the market on his new motorbike. On the way there, he meets an elephant who asks him for a ride to the market. The ant says, okay, hop on, and they're on their way to the market. A little while later, they come across another elephant who also wants a lift to the market. The ant says, okay, hop on, and they're again on their way to the market. A little while later, they come across a third elephant, and this time too, the elephant asks for a ride to the market. The ant says, fine, hop on, and the four of them ride off to the market. Just before they reach the market, a truck screeches to a halt in front of them, and they crash into the truck. The paramedics arrive, and they see that the elephants are in a very bad condition, on the verge of death,... but the ant has escaped with just a few minor injuries!! Why is this so?

The ant was wearing a helmet.

Later, the ambulance is seen speeding off to the hospital with the three elephants inside. Behind them, several ants on motorbikes follow. Why are the ants following the ambulance?

To donate blood.

What did the ant say to the elephant on the day of the elephant's wedding?
Aap shadi kar rahe he? Mai thumhare bachche ki maa banne walee hoo.
(You're getting married? I'm pregnant with your baby.)

An ant is sitting on a tree. Below, an elephant is in a pool of water. How do they switch positions?
The ant jumps into the water. With the splash of the water, the elephant lands on top.

An ant and an elephant are playing hide-and-seek near a place which has 2000 temples. The elephant starts counting. The ant goes into one of the temples and hides. The elephant finishes counting, and within a few seconds knows which temple the ant entered. How does he know which?
The ant left his chappals (slippers) outside the temple.



Titanic - My Heartache will go on...


Martial Arts vs. Modern Arts


More Jokes?
Bookmark this site and gimme some time.
I've got lots more up my sleeve, just don't find the time...

Got any cool jokes you made up yourself?
Send'em in. I'll give you full credit for them.
- Erwin

Special thanks to my pal, Sooneel Perbu, the source of many of these jokes.

Click Here!