irritate
 The I.Q. Test

 This Irritant is best executed on a group of friends who will all take you seriously. You must act completely serious throughout the I.Q. test. Also, you need to be imaginative. Here's how it goes... Tell your friends that you know a method for testing their I.Q., and only if they're interested will you begin. "Guys, I'm serious. It's a test to determine your concentration levels and memory capacity. It goes like this. I'm going to narrate to you 7 short stories. You must listen very attentively and remember everything about the story. I'll be asking questions continuously to check whether you're concentrating. Then, at the end of it all, I'll ask one question, which will determine your Intelligence Quotient. So please stay alert."

Then, you proceed to make up 7 short stories. Be creative. And keep asking questions. For example...

"The first story. A man of 40 years went to the airport. He saw 13 planes in all. 2 planes were taking off, 1 was landing. He saw a lady passenger with red slippers and a green suitcase. How old was the man??..."

"Correct, so you're concentrating. Okay, so the lady goes to the third plane which was a Boeing 747. What was the color of the lady's slippers?..."

"RED!"

"How many planes were taking off?"

"2!!"

"Okay. Then the man goes back to his house in his yellow Corvette. End of the first story." (Ask some more questions at this point to check how much they remember)

"The second story. A brown-haired boy was wearing Nike shoes. He goes with his dog to the barber's shop. The barber is bald. The dog was a German shepherd. What shoes did the boy have?"

"Nike!!"

"What was the color of the barber's hair?"

"He was bald!!"

"Okay, good, you're attentive! What was the color of the lady's slippers in the first story?"

"... Red!"

...etc. Keep asking questions. Ask questions from previous stories too. If your friends are unable to answer a question or give the wrong answer, scold them and tell them the right answer, and continue. There will be many times in which you yourself will forget the stories, and your friends will correct you. In these cases, say, "Ahhh, yes, I was just testing you, so you really ARE concentrating..."

Towards the end of the 7th story, ask a lot of questions about the previous stories. (By this time they will be wide-eyed with concentration and determination to prove their good IQ levels. Ideally, you should hold their attention for about 1 hour.)

After you ask these questions, give a small smile in satisfaction, showing that you are satisfied with their performance. Then, say, "Okay" signifying the end of the IQ test, and then get up to leave.

One of them will surely ask, "Hey, what about the final question?" You should act confused and serious and say,
"What final question?"